Hijacked has been rocked following a brutal attack on Andy “the” Kidd by a gang of local kittens, leaving him hospitalised in the immediate term and unfortunately means he will miss this month’s Hijacked. Details of the attack are sketchy at this time, but is it understood to have occured between the hours of 3 and 4 am last Saturday somewhere in the Clifton area of York. A witness to the attack commented “it was totally unexpected, you do see these gangs of kittens hanging around on street corners, but they normally keep themselves to themselves and we don’t really get any trouble, I didn’t really see what happened, but one minute Andy was walking down the street and the next he was pinned to the floor under a writhing mass of spitting, hissing fur, all you could hear were his scream of pain”. One of the gang members, who has asked to remain unnamed was quoted as saying “we wur just, like, hanging out and that, when this muppet stood on Astra’s tail, we were like, ere mate, wat d’you think your doing and that?” Doctors at York hosptial were astounded by the extent of his injuries, the operating surgeon commented “who’d have thought a little kitten could do so much damage to someones foot? We all think of them as fairly light, furry, sweet little creatures, but this just goes to show, you should never underetsimate the damage a pussy can do”.
Andy is in a stable condition in hospital awaiting further operations in an attempt to recover what remains of his foot, we, at Hijacked, wish you a quick and speedy recovery Andy!
Police are looking for witnesses to the attack, if you, or anyone you know, has information that might help track this vicious gang of kittens down before some other innocent passer by gets hurt, please contact your local police station.
